At last I found a reasonable-minded official in the Department of International Relations who was able to explain why the Dalai Lama couldn’t possibly be allowed to visit South Africa.
He insisted on being known only as Mr X, in case he got fired for being too sympathetic to the Tibetan leader’s cause.
“I know he’s a Nobel Peace Prize winner,” said Mr X. “I know he’s the spiritual head of many millions. I know he’s one of the most respected human beings on Earth. But he annoys our very dear friends the Chinese government. And anybody who annoys our very dear friends annoys us.”
I pointed out that the Chinese government had also annoyed the Dalai Lama by seizing Tibet, destroying most of the monasteries, banning the practice of Buddhism, massacring thousands who objected, chasing many more into exile and forcing those still left to live in a constant state of fear, intimidation and suspicion.
“In a speech a couple of years ago, the Dalai Lama said ‘repression continues to be exercised with numerous flagrant, unimaginable violations of human rights, denial of religious freedom and the politicisation of religion’,” I quoted.
“No nation is perfect,” said Mr X. “Naturally we have no intention of selling our souls to China just for another R20 billion in investment deals and direct flights to Beijing, but keeping out a silly old man spouting peace is a small price to pay.”
“I see it as Africa kowtowing to the Far East,” I said.
“It makes a nice change from kowtowing to the West,” laughed Mr X. “By the way, kowtowing is a good Chinese word. We all better get used to it.”
“I thought of another nice Chinese word,” I said. “Changre – it’s Mandarin for ‘please sir, yes sir’. That’s what Chinese children chant out to their teachers. I just couldn’t find the Chinese for ‘three bags full, sir’.”
“You’re very funny,” said Mr X. “Maybe if we arrange a free trip to China for you, you’d change your attitude.”
“Free trips to China seem to have changed a lot of government people’s attitudes,” I noted.
“There you go,” said Mr X. “I knew you would understand.”
“It’s just a pity that you couldn’t even allow the Dalai Lama to attend the 80th birthday of our own dearly-loved Nobel Peace Prize winner, Desmond Tutu.”
“Between you and me, Tutu’s another trouble maker,” said Mr X. “What is it with these Nobel Prize people that they can’t shut up and let politicians get on with running the country? We wouldn’t be a bit surprised if Tutu and the Dalai Lama issued a joint statement condemning the Protection of State Information Bill. Believe me, the Chinese wouldn’t allow that.
“Don’t forget that Nelson Mandela is also a Nobel Peace Prize winner. And he let the Dalai Lama visit. He refused to let the Chinese dictate whom we should and should not allow into the country.
“Times have changed,” said Mr X.
“You can say that again.”
“There is still a faint possibility that the Dalai Lama’s visa application may yet be approved,” said Mr X. “I can’t promise anything.”
“Well, why is it taking so long?”
“We’ve given the job to the slowest thinker in the department. We’ve also told him we’ve lined up a free trip to China for him if he comes to the right decision.”
johnvscott@mweb.co.za
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